TV is Your Friend

Don't think this I don't see you eyeing me
After everyone has gone?
Behind that pout I know you're dying
To cross the room and turn me on
Within an hour you'll have fallen
Why do you sit there and pretend
That you have found some higher calling?
TV is your friend

It makes me sad to watch you churning
Still you treat me with disdain
Do I not take away the burning
Do I not numb you to the pain?
You know you love the way I flicker
My pull you'll never comprehend
Not as strong as heroin, but quicker
TV is your friend

You've stopped your kicking and your screaming
I knew you'd tire of saying '"no"
Settle back into the evening
Settle back into the glow
It's the gift that keeps on giving
It's a love that never ends
If you are sick to death of living
TV is your friend


It's Only Life

There's no there there
So there there
It's only life

There's a million other drones
Waiting for a chance to ride our bones
Signed up and waiting to be us so what's the fuss

It's only life
It's only life
And for everything that we know of it
We can't seem to let go of it 'til we die
Relax, put down the ax
It's only life
I know, I know, I know it's all we know
But it's only life
You're the greatest soul alive
We were all just lost 'til you arrived
We're written down every word you've ever said
But don't let it go to your head

It's only life
It's only life
You can bang on your head if you're so inclined
You can hate yourself til you're ninety-nine
But in the end you probably will find
It's so small
But after all
It's only life
I know, I know, I know it's all we know
But it's only life

Of fire, heavy as a sack
Of dust, endless as a can
Of rain, priceless as a bowl of air
There's no there there so there there
It's only life


I'm Deep

I'm Deep
I'm Deep
I'm Deep, will you sleep with me?

So calm
So clear
So real
Right here
Such poise
Such grace
I'm blessed with it
I'm desperate

I'm Deep
I'm Deep
I'm Deep, will you sleep with me?

No wheels
No dough
No home
Not close
No hope
No help
I'm free of wealth
How can you control yourself?
I'm deep

Who knows
What grows
When blows
Where flows?
How great
Why wait?
I'm full of it
Holy Shit

I'm Deep
I'm Deep
I'm Deep, will you sleep with me?


Try Not to Think About Bugs

Underneath the covers crawl
Let your slippery eyelids fall
Let your troubles slide away
And slither downstream
Pierce your problems with a pin
Don't let them get beneath your skin
And as you drift away into your dreams

Try not to think about bugs
Try not to picture them creeping
Above while you're sleeping
Or burrowing under the rugs
Think not of earwigs marching
Up and down the blinds
Or a flies eye magnified 700 times
There's no logical reason for you to suspect
You're pillow is filled with slugs
Close your eyes and
Try not to think about bugs

Tarantulas live only in the south
And they're much too big
To climb inside your mouth

Try not to think about bugs
Think not of maggots or weevils
Or leaches or ticks
Or rhinoceros beetles on drugs
If not for the fact that all is black
When all the lights are out
You'd see there are no swarms
Of roaches flying about
What's to be gained from imagining yourself
Drowning in a sea of slugs?
Close your eyes and
Try not to think about bugs


Little Martian Girl

The likeness is otherworldly
I could not believe she was not you
Though I swore for years you could disappear
And never leave my view
Now I know
A roving band of space thugs
Has got you hooked up in some evil scheme
And time and time again
If find myself drifting in
That same distressing dream

Now you've moved to a higher plane
And I'm left again to pine in pain with this little martian girl

You've got to hand it to those martians
They have not been wasting time in space
From cosmic fur they crafted her
Without an eyelash out of place
She's been programmed with the finest manners
She's been programmed not to make a fuss
A wall of tack to hide the fact
She's not one of us

And now you've moved
To a higher plane
And I'm left again to pine in pain with this
Little martian girl

Gazing in her eyes I've seen a sight
As beautiful and cold and black as the back of heaven
On the longest martian night

Houston? We have a problem
I know it's breaking protocol
But if I give in and turn one in
The other won't come back at all
I keep thinking she's going to tell me
The point of all this suffering
But in truth, I've found
When she splashes down
She won't recall a thing

Now you've moved
To a higher plane
And I'm left instead with a world of dread
With this little martian girl


I am Better Than Your God

There's an old man with a beard
Whining in the sky
Picking through his fan mail
As we live and die
He's watching our every move
From the cradle to the tomb
Who is righteous, who is lame
And who is poking whom
While infidels broil in hell
Like so many cod
Don't want to be crucified
But if god is on your side
I am better than you god

I am not fully formed
I'm petty and I'm vain
Driven by fear and susceptible to pain
But I'm trying to be fair
And I'm trying to give a shit
And I'm trying to keep on trying
Though it's trying, I admit
I'm a bumbling brute in a monkey suit
A spinning, grinning clod
It's funny and it's sad
But you know things are bad when
I am better than your god

Nothing I have heard
Nothing I have seen
Nothing so absurd
Nothing so obscene
As taking a love so deep, and real and whole
And twisting it into something that is smaller than your soul
Hold your guns, chosen ones
Does that strike you as odd?
I'll gamble on his wrath, cause if you do the math
I am better than your god


Fuck this Noise

Terminal static
Terrible hiss
Permanent panic
Why is this?
Fuck this Noise

Signal distorted
Awful delay
Transmission aborted
Slow decay
Fuck this Noise

Bad disposition
A bad, bad mix
Fuck this condition
Fuck this fix

A prattling monkey
In a rattling cage
It's the attraction of the age
Fuck this noise

No resolution
No relief
Fuck this pollution
Pray for peace

Cackling voices
Crackling wires
Fuck my ambition
Fuck my desires
Fuck this noise


Me and William Shakespeare

If William Shakespeare were alive today
I would invite her over at the end of the day
We would sit out on the porch
We would have a couple of brews
And we'd talk about people like you
And here is the conversation that would probably ensue

I'd say "William, it's a tragedy
Correct me is this ain't true
That the secrets of the earth
Are revealed to so few
While you and I go through our lives
Basking in the light
These dumb motherfuckers are running around
Like it was the dead of night."
We would sit there, shaking our heads
Staring at our shoes
Then we'd reach into the cooler
For a couple more brews
I have reason to believe that it would be just like I say
If William Shakespeare were alive today

If William Shakespeare were living in our time
I would treat him no different
Than any other friend of mine
I would mix a few martinis
(Light on the vermouth)
Then we'd sit around and talk about universal truth

And I'd say "Life's a pretty stupid story, you must admit.
It's full of sound and fury, right? But it don't mean shit."
He would listen very carefully to all that I had said
Then he'd say "Can I quote you on that?" and I'd say
"Go right ahead," and he'd say
"It's been a pleasure to say the least
But I must be getting home
To write another masterpiece."
I have reason to believe that it would be just as I say
If William Shakespeare were alive today
And who is there doubt that it would be just like I say
If William Shakespeare were alive today


Tired of Me

I'm tired of me
And I'm tired of you
And I'm tired of me being tired of you
And I'm tired of me being tired of you
Being tired of me being tired of you
And this maze that we've made
And turned into our home
Is one I could never have built on my own
And nobody said it was going to be bliss
But it's wearing me out
And I'm tired of this

Been reading your eyes while you're reading my face
Parallel mirrors receding in space
Parallel pictures on parallel panes
Growing smaller and smaller with every new frame
And seeing you there behind layers of glass
And watching your heart close was killing me fast
And I missed you before you decided to split
And I'm missing you still and I'm tired of it

I'm tired of me
You can fill in the rest
Don't worry, it's not going to be on the test
And yeah, we agreed, it was out of our hands
But it feels like I've failed you
And I've buried our plans
But you hung in so long and you fought the good fight
And I know that you loved me with all of your might
And as long as I live
And as old as I get
And as tired I grow
I will never forget


You'd Look So Good in Clothes

For your head we'll find a cap
Find you a bracelet for your wrist
Buy you a slip and hang it on your hips
No self-respecting sailor could resist
Find a dress that suits you well
Notwithstanding, I propose
A simple skirt and blouse
To wear around the house
Cause you'd look so good in clothes

You'd look so great
Why do I have to wait to see you
Giftwrapped from your kneecaps to your nose
I must say, so far
You look lovely as you are
But you'd look so good in clothes

How your tights will hold your thighs
Ooh, how the fabric will cling
How your stays will reinforce your wicked ways
How your shoes will sing

You'd look so fine
What do I have to sign to see you
In thread from your halo to your hose
I mean no disrespect
But I have reason to suspect
That you'd look so good in clothes

We will wander down the avenue in broad daylight
And underneath your clothing you'll be naked as the night

But you'd look so sweet bedecked
And so discreet
Skin and linen juxtaposed
It's a strong supposition
It's man's intuition
You'd look so good in clothes


What Kind of Fool Are You?

What kind of fool are you?
What kind of fool are you?
Are you the kind of fool who rushes in
No matter what the cost?
Or are you the kind who hesitates and is lost
Hello, how do you do?
What kind of fool are you?

What kind of fool are you?
There are so many ways to go
There's the fool who loves too little
The fool who loves too long
The fool who is too clever or
The fool who is too strong
Pick two from column one
And one from column two
What kind of fool are you?


What kind of fool do you think I am?
How badly do you want to learn?
This could take a while
How much time have you got to burn?

What kind of fool are you?
What kind of fool would you like to be?
Will you be the fool who holds out
While your time unwinds
Or be the fool who settles for a fool of my kind?
You're damned if you don't or if you do
So what kind of fool are you?
What kind of fool are you?


I'm Sorry for What My People Did to Your People

I'm sorry for what my people did to your people
So many years ago
They were bad, I admit, they did some really bad shit
But this small cash settlement should soften the blow
I know that they made your life a drag
And now they're driving up the rents
I'm sorry for what my people did to your people
Here's fifty cents

That you got the boot heel is plain to see
If you want New Jersey you can have it
I'm sorry . . .

I'm sorry for what my people did to your people
It was a nasty job
Please note the change of attitude
On the bumper of my Saab
I'd do anything at all to help you now
It won't cost too much, will it?
I'm sorry for what my people did to your people
How shall we bill it?

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
Can I Go Now?

I'm sorry for what my people did to your people
It was no paradise
But I will make it up to you
By being extra nice
We were bad for a while but haven't we
Treated you much better lately
I'm sorry for what my people did to your people
Please don't hate me
Please don't hate me