World's Saddest Girlfriend in the World

The world's saddest girlfriend in the world
Calls California every evening from her windy city home
For what he cannot give her
There are a thousand rivers issuing nightly
From the endless spring
Of the world's saddest girlfriend in the world

He'd seen those weeping eyes before
Painted on velvet, hanging on the wall
Of every Goodwill store
He'd ever wandered lost in
From Aberdeen to Austin
Destiny, as if she were born to be
The world's saddest girlfriend in the world

No matter where she goes her sorrow only grows
Sometimes he thinks that it's the sweetest thing she knows

The world's saddest girlfriend says goodbye
It's dark in Chicago
But there's still a ray of light in western skies
A million stars in hiding
They can't see her hiding
When will they see it's someone else's turn to be
The world's saddest girlfriend in the world


Show Me Your Flaw

I spied you in the lobby
You were talking to that butthead
And the vision of you hit me like a
Harpoon through the gut
So while you and Mr. Ponytail
Are gazing deep into each other's eyes
The least you could do is offer me
A consolation prize

Show me your flaw
Show me your flaw
'Cause from here you look perfect
And it's eating me raw
Flash me a foible and I'll walk out the door
Show me your flaw
Show me your flaw


Are you a Witness of Jehovah?
Do you have an unfortunate laugh?
Do you have a poem to Hitler
Tattooed on your ass?
Are you batshit?
Will you drive a hatchet through my head?
Do you have an alter to Stallone above your bed

Show me your flaw, Show me your flaw
'Cause I won't get too much work done
With you stuck in my craw
Give me one good reason not to be smitten to the core
Show me your flaw, Show me your flaw

Do you shill for Amway?
Are you one of Tyson's exes?
Are you hurting for a certain former
Governor of Texas
On the Stoli diet?
Fond of quiet evenings sniffing glue?
Detox, retox, botox, Red Sox
What would Jesus do?

Do you drive a Lexus? Do you torture household pets?
Do you dig Geraldo? Have you massive gambling debts?
Indulge a geek, miss, any major weakness will suffice
Dianetics, Michael Bolton, homicide or lice

Show me your flaw, Show me your flaw
'Cause from here you look perfect
And it's eating me raw
Say something stupid I will say no more
Show me your flaw, Show me your flaw


Shreveport

Tonight I'll dream of Shreveport
I've got Shreveport on my mind
Although it's true I've never seen you
And haven't got a clue what I would find there
But if it falls apart just like it always seems to do
If it all falls through
If I have to lose her, Shreveport
I will run to you

My bags are packed for Shreveport
Shreveport, do you hear?
I need a place where no one I have ever met has been
I need a place to disappear
I wouldn't know your amber waves of grain from Witchita
I wouldn't know your streets from Kalamazoo
But if it falls apart just like it always seems to do
If it all falls through
If I have to lose her, Shreveport
I will run to you

I'll reinvent myself I'll change my name I'll live alone
I will not let them see inside my shell
Tell them all I've died
I will not blink, I will not sigh
I will be sad as hell

Oh I am tired, Shreveport
Shreveport, I don't care
I've never stopped to wonder what you have in store for me
I'm happy knowing you are there
No I have never seen your lights on a winter's night
And I hope I never do
But if it falls apart now, Shreveport
I will run to you


Torn Apart

In my last life, a couple of years ago
I wrote a note to a distant friend
I'll never really know
Responding to my fear that she was
Falling through the net
In words I don't remember
But I cannot forget
She said

"It's kind of you to ask of me
But my legs still move and my eyes still see
And this job I have lets me use my brain
They treat me well so I can't complain
I get out on the weekends
And I'm grateful for my friends
And it feels like real life is just around the bend
I'm allright, what can I say
And I'm torn apart every day"

Well I read those words and they left no chains
Cause I was never the source of her pain
And it came at a time when I had no doubt
And it seemed like such a waste
All spun out of control
This endless line of souls
Willing to burn the years away
Being torn apart every day

But times change and worlds end
That's not news
And what was once clear is once again confused
People stop me on the street
They ask if I'm okay
I'm not sure how much they want to hear
Or how much I want to say
So I say

"It's kind of you to ask of me
But my legs still move and my eyes still see
And this job I have lets me use my brain
They treat me well so I can't complain
I get out on the weekends
And I'm grateful for my friends
And it feels like real life is just around the bend"
And what I feel, but I don't say
Is that I'm torn apart every day


Nothing Left to Pierce

What'll we do when there's nothing left to take?
Nothing left to break?
What'll we be doing when there's nothing left to ruin?
What'll we do when there's no one left to shock?
Sit around and watch the clock?
How can we top the act you've known for all these years?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to pierce?

What'll we do? What'll we do?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to pierce?
What'll we do when nipple rings are sold in Sears?
What'll we do when there's no one left to brand?
How can you sit and watch as the apocalypse nears?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to pierce?

There's a hole, there's a hole
There's a hole in the bottom of your soul
There is no end to it
You can't stick a pin through it

What'll we do when there's nothing left to smoke?
No one left to poke?
How are we gonna groove
When there's nothing left to prove?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to do?
Slice ourselves in two?
How can we confront the worst of all our fears?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to pierce?

What'll we do? What'll we do?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to pierce?
What'll we do when we've run out of frontiers?

What'll we do when there's no one left to skewer
They'll never find the cure
How can you sit and watch as the apocalypse nears?
What'll we do when there's nothing left to pierce?


Disappointment Slough

Started with a shiver at the source of the river
At the bed of an ancient sea
Before I knew that there was me
I woke from that long dream hurtling downstream
Mountains falling from view
With my sails and my pirates tales
And my baby blues

Vying and veering, thought I was steering
I don't know where I went wrong
Maybe I was drifting all along
Now I can't read the tide and current has died
And my compass is pointing askew
Who knew that this raging ride
Would lead into the shallow shoals of Disappointment Slough

These waters I'm living in are no good for swimming in
There's not enough water to drown
Brackish bogs of black and brown
It's muddy as hell and for all I can tell
It's the solidest footing around
Who would guess that this stream of consciousness
Would feed into the mindless flats of Disappointment Slough

I heard about the ocean
Thought that that I was on my way
I know I'll make it
But will I live to see the day

Been snowing all winter, man, in the hinterlands
Boding a biblical flood
I can feel it in my blood
Now I'm checking the wreckage and swabbing the deck
And I'm waiting around for my cue
To dry my eyes as the waters rise
For a final view
Of the sorrow shores of Disappointment Slough


Squeezletoe

I won't go, Squeezletoe
I won't flee
I know one day you will see
Stop going crazy
I know you can't save me
I'm not worried that anyone will, still
I won't go, no
Squeezletoe

I won't go, Squeezletoe
I won't leave
It's alright if you don't believe
I'm not going to fret it
If you don't get it 'til I am a hundred
And you are a hundred and two
I won't go

Laugh, but you know that it's true
I've got nothing better to do

I won't go, Squeezletoe
I'm in deep 'til we take that final sleep
When you are chosen and your circle is closing
You'll see beyond seeing
And know beyond knowing
That I won't go
I won't go, Squeezletoe
I've got nothing better to do


Wimpy White Guys with Guitars

Christian feels a certain special pain
He compares his inner landscape to a gently falling rain
Trey is wondering where his lady went
Travis is smitten with a vague discontent
Justin has a message to his show
He came all this way to tell us that he just doesn't know
Reid will sing a song about a train
Blake will make you wistful for a fistful of change

Wimpy White Guys with Guitars
Choking up the coffee houses
Bringing down the bars
Restless as the ocean
Countless as the stars
Wimpy White Guys with Guitars

Whitney's on a mission, don't you see?
He would like to acquaint you with his ennui
Troy is emoting on and on again
Dylan is channeling Donovan

Wimpy White Guys with Guitars
Strumming on our six-strings
Passing 'round the tip jars
If you laid us end to end
We'd reach from here to Mars
Wimpy White Guys with Guitars

We're taking over
Serious, sensitive and sad
There'll be an open mic on every corner
We'll be writing songs about your daughters
It's a sick gig
But Chicks dig ...

Wimpy White Guys with Guitars
Choking up the coffee houses
Bringing down the bars
If we're looking for a legacy
This could be ours
Wimpy White Guys with Guitars


Which One Am I?

Wait, which one am I?
Which one are you?
And what'll we do?
'Cause one of us was holding it together
And one of us was tearing it apart
Who is who?
We've just acting the parts like everybody else
Reading off the lines as if we'd written them ourselves
So please forgive this lapse
It's a coincidence or perhaps a symptom of collapse
Don' make me cry
Which one am I?

Help, which one am I?
Are we there yet? I forget
What do I usually say?
What is my position on the issues of this sad romance?
They handed us this riddle when we landed on the earth
Now it seems the answer is more trouble than it's worth
But if we survive this test
Then I won't even guess
And it will matter less and less as years go by
Which one am I?


Beside Myself

Life can be unbelievably simple sometimes
For two or three seconds at a time
But it's long enough for me to run my tongue
All the way down your spine
Sometimes I think there's no one here beside myself
But right now you're beside me
And I am beside myself

I've got you in my teeth and I have got you in my hands
And I've got you in my lungs
How did we ever learn to be this graceful?
How did we ever grow to be so young?
There's time for all the crime
For which I try myself
For right now you're beside me
And I am beside myself

Goddamn, Goddamn
You are
I am
Goddamn

Time, I know, will fuck it all up
Time, I'm told, will tell
But for the time being anyway
Time can fuck itself
Let it die like everything else
I'm gonna die myself
Right now you're beside me
And I am beside myself
Life can be unbelievably simple sometimes


Leave Me Alone

Leave me alone
Leave me blue
Leave me 'cause I can't bear to leave you
Say goodnight
Hang up the phone
Believe me, when you leave me
You will leave alone

Leave me no say
Leave me no choice
No chance to melt the disappointment in your voice
No chance to leave you
With a glimmer of hope
Leave me helpless
Leave me alone

I forget who said it
Be careful what you want
You might get it

You think this doesn't hurt me
You think I'm made of stone
Believe me, when you leave me
You will leave me alone


Revolution

We've been around the solar system
Spinning on a sphere
A million miles and back again
In a single year
And in a year we ended up
Back where we'd begun
Revolution around the sun

An endless chain of accidents
Receding back in time
What are the chances that your path
Would intersect with mine?
A curve approaching nothing
Infinity to one
Revolution around the sun

The problem is with you and me
It never was and it'll always be

Can it be the love we think we lose
Is just as deep and just as permanent and precious
As the love we think we keep?
And isn't it the only time you get with anyone?
Revolution around the sun


No More Broken Love Songs

No more broken love songs
This has got to stop
I'm boarding up the factory
Shutting down the shop
Never more will I be caught penning sentiments
Too dark to speak
No more broken love songs
Things were looking bleak

No more broken love songs
Not another verse
Started as a comfort
Has become a curse
After all these years I find I'm running out with words
That rhyme with pain
No more broken love songs
Something's got to change

No more broken love songs
I have reached the end of the line
I'm checking out my options
I'm checking out for a long, long time
I'm gonna pack up all my fears
And move to a major key
And dwell in the light
No more broken love songs
God, I hope I'm right